Realistic Masturbators

Discreet, Fast, Free Shipping Over $79!

Looking For That Pussy You've Always Dreamed Of?

Enjoy our extensive selection of realistic pussy and ass masturbators. From light skin to dark, innie pussy lips to big beautiful butterfly labia, we got you covered. Get ready to pump into one of these beauty's.

Looking For That Pussy You've Always Dreamed Of? Enjoy our extensive selection of realistic pussy and ass masturbators. From light skin to dark, innie pussy lips...

Looking For That Pussy You've Always Dreamed Of? Enjoy our extensive selection of realistic pussy and ass masturbators. From light skin to dark, innie pussy lips to big beautiful butterfly labia, we got you covered. Get ready to pump into one of these beauty's.

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Dolls & Masturbators (11)

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4.7

Rated 4.7 out of 5 stars

25 Reviews

Curve Toys

Curve Toys Mistress Maddie Juicy Masturbator - Ivory

$95.31

$70.99

Savings: $24.86 (27%)

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Sold Out

4.8

Rated 4.8 out of 5 stars

21 Reviews

Curve Toys

Curve Toys Mistress Taylor Juicy Masturbator - Ivory

Coming Soon!

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4.9

Rated 4.9 out of 5 stars

23 Reviews

Curve Toys

Curve Toys Mistress Jenna Juicy Masturbator - Tan

$95.60

$52.99

Savings: $42.76 (45%)

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4.8

Rated 4.8 out of 5 stars

19 Reviews

Curve Toys

Curve Toys Mistress Mia Juicy Masturbator - Tan

$95.60

$52.99

Savings: $42.76 (45%)

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5.0

Rated 5.0 out of 5 stars

19 Reviews

Pipedream Pr...

Pipedream Extreme Elite Mega-bator

$507.15

$374.99

Savings: $132.30 (27%)

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Pdx Brands

Pdx Plus Big Titty Torso - Tan

$563.49

$416.99

Savings: $147.00 (27%)

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Pdx Brands

Pdx Plus Big Titty Torso

Coming Soon!

Sale

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3.0

Rated 3.0 out of 5 stars

1 Review

Pdx Brands

Pdx Plus Perfect White Pussy & Ass Masturbator

Coming Soon!

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Pdx Brands

Pdx Plus Perfect Pussy & Ass Double Stroker

$48.30

$35.99

Savings: $10.37 (27%)

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Pdx Brands

Pdx Perfect Pussy & Ass Double Stroker

$48.30

$35.99

Savings: $12.60 (27%)

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Pdx Brands

Pdx Plus Pick Your Pleasure Dual Stroker

$64.79

$47.99

Savings: $16.80 (27%)

Intimacy & Toy Guides

Find your guide to ultimate pleasure and unforgettable orgasms

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Discreet Packaging

We prioritize your privacy with discreet shipping. All orders are packaged in plain corrugated boxes or polymer packaging with no identifying marks or logos related to adult toys. Your confidentiality is our top priority.

Free Shipping Over $79+

Enjoy free, discreet shipping on all orders over $79, delivered as quickly as 3 business days. Treat yourself to the fast shipping without any extra fees!

100% Secure Checkout

Shopify’s payment processing is built for top-tier security, with PCI compliance and encryption to protect customer data. Every transaction is monitored for fraud, ensuring that payments are secure and privacy is safeguarded. With Shopify, customers can shop confidently, knowing your information stays safe and private.

Live Chat

We’re here to help with our live chat feature, available intermittently throughout the day from 9 AM to 9 PM PST! For any product-related inquiries, just reach out and get real-time assistance from our team. We're dedicated to making your shopping experience seamless and enjoyable!

90 Day In-Store Warranty

Use, abuse, and make your partner scream with joy! If you experience reliability issues with your toy, simply email a picture or video of the damaged item and your order number to sales@thehappywife.com. We will work with you to replace the original item, substitute a similar item, or provide a store credit.

Ships From Canada & USA

Fast, Discreet, and Exclusive

Enjoy the best of both worlds with The Happy Wife! Our signature Pleasure Sleeves are housed and shipped directly from within Canada, ensuring fast delivery with no customs delays or surprise duties.

Looking for more? We also carry exclusive U.S. products that many Canadian retailers don’t stock – and we ship them quickly from our U.S. warehouses right to your doorstep. With multiple locations across North America, you get access to a wider selection and reliable, discreet shipping every time.

Discreet Packaging

Free Shipping Over $79+

100% Secure Checkout

Live Chat

90 Day In-Store Warranty

Ships From Canada & USA

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POLICIES This website is to only be viewed and used by an adult audience. All models are 18 years of age or older, compliant with 18 U.S.C. section 2257. If you are under 18 years old (21 years old in some states) you are to leave our site. No exceptions. All Material in compliance with the record keeping requirements of 18 U.S.C. 2257 and/or 2257A Custodian of records: Margaret McCoush, Records Custodian. If you wish, you may view our Custodian of Records Page.

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